Xmas

Xmas: The Day on which nearly Everything is Closed

Viterbo 25 Dec 2007

Let me just begin by saying that holidays create a distinct impediment to sightseeing. Everything is has the potential to be closed. My Jewish brother-in-law tells me that, before having married a schicksa, it had been a family tradition to go to a Chinese restaurant on December 25th. Well, we were in Italy, a supposedly Catholic country. We did not expect to find much open, so we planned our day around doing things for which "open" would be irrelevant.

I spent a lot of time that day playing with Guillermina. Of course, I had yet to closely examine her genitalia, so I was still calling her "Guillermo." She is very cute. She likes to climb the little trees that line the fence overlooking the view. I miss her greatly.

In the category of "stuff that might not be closed on Xmas," we decided to seek out the natural volcanic hot springs that, legend holds, surround Viterbo. Our quest was a success. I spent December 25th in a swimming suit, enjoying a hot (albeit, stinky) bath and a mud facial. It was heavenly.

By the way, volcanic hot springs are HOT. This is a photograph of the actual spring. Yes, it is boiling. Yes, there was a lot of steam. Yes, I did slightly burn myself when I touched water that was a little bit too close to this area. Yes, I did smell like sulphur (and, perhaps, brimstone) for the rest of the day. It was worth it.

After enjoying a schvitz, we drove into the Medieval heart of Viterbo. Viterbo is a reasonably large city, about 1.5 hours northwest of Rome. It has one of the Pope's summer homes, or something. The Medieval heart is blessed with a largely intact city wall. I snapped many random photos of the interior of Viterbo. You will be subject to some of them. The above photo depicts the Papal Palaces, with the tower of the cathedral in the background. Learn more about Viterbo here.

Finally, I need to mention the scary-ass Santa who had been lashed to a fence near San Francesco. Doesn't this guy kinda freak you out? Is he the sort of character that you want breaking into your home? Of course not. Perhaps it's a good thing that someone had the wherewithal to bind him to a post in the country, away from anywhere he could harm someone. Indeed, due to the severe lack of chimneys in Italy, Santa no longer enters the home that way, but by a ladder into an upper story window. There were gobs of fake Santas on ladders attached to windows, throughout Italy. I just find the idea of this guy (above) using a ladder to enter people's homes disturbing.

P. S. Italians seem to maintain an industry of creepy-ass, life-sized, holiday dolls. More to come.

Bo.